don't really know.

nothing really seems right these days, i always turn to alcohol or cigarettes or weed to get myself on a track that i often never remember the morning after. weird. something isn't right, i can feel it. maybe it's the whole girl situation, or maybe im just stressed about college. i'm always thinking about something, and always end up with nothing. it's quite sad, actually. I need to talk to someone about this weird problem. whatever, im going to bed.

shadow of windows

the birthday begins my blog journal. 

5:39 am, struggling to close my eyes bothers me. 

I'm right now located in Canada, visiting my elementary friends. Past before future. Always vital, yet so crucifying. It makes me so happy to see all of my dearly missed homies, but it hurts so much thinking that I will barely get to see these goofballs in the future. 

Thunderstorm out the window, the shadows of the shaking branches, and the Beatles aren't necessarily helpful. Too late to go back, too late to change, too late to love! What is going on inside my head doesn't exactly make sense, but it's okay, I don't care. Insecurity, fear, and a gulp of saliva going down my throat describes my status. I keep telling myself it's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright.