just sittin'

The last 2 days were one of the most hectic days of life. Packing, moving, unpacking boxes, driving the U-Haul truck, driving it back, everything was craaaazzzy.

My parents have decided to move to the city of Longmont, the most boringest city in the state of Colorado. (it's chosen one of the best retirement spots in the States!) Half the people I see here are old people (like, really old) and it's already starting to take a toll on me. Parentals have decided to move here because it is closer to their work. They never gave me a chance to argue about staying in Boulder. Lame. It's a nice little aparment, where I'm staying at, with a swimming pool and a gym. I'm really starting to think about what I'll be doing here for the rest of the summer before I go to college. Hm...

the so called MUZIC

it's an amazing thing.
probably only one of few that actaully makes sense anymore these crazy, hatred filled days, where the sun never seems to be at the bottom again. Mile High Music Fest pt 2 was today, and i was lucky enough to get a ticket (for cheaper) from my best friend. and im so glad that i went! it was worth every penny. i've never actually ever been to such a huge festival with so many people gathered in one place for the same purpose- their love and appreciation for mu:sic. My eyes are slowly shutting down from being so tired running around to different stages to see different artists of different genres. my voice is gone form yelling and cheering for the bandskys, the guiltar, bass, and drum solos, and of course, the epic Dave Matthews Band performance. The bands and groups i saw were: the rose hill drive, tea leaf green, the black crowes, the roots, flobots, john mayer, and a couple more. I can't really hear out of my right ear anymore, but i'm sure it'll be alright in the morning. it was amazing to see so many people gather together and have a kick-ass time listening to the music, burning the green, and never forgetting to remember to put your hands in the air.

go ahead, make yourself at home.

i recently became unknowingly interested in this really complex but a very interesting thing, so-called; new age philosophy. They educate our greased-up, rusted, and clanking brains, and strengthen our most wildest curiosities. The key here, is to think less logically, ask fewer questions, and always be open to the very unknown, living the life of the power of the concept; "right now" the only real time that exists within and all around us.

I believe that being present is being in love, for love is how and why life IS.
You're not being an american, not being a teenager, no roles, no categories. You just are, and that's why and how existance of love happens.

me.

there's a lot of things people don't understand about me, and im going to write it on here, even though pretty much no one even knows the fact that i have a blogger. \

i am a happy-go-get (?) person, enjoying life's everyday treasures and its dreams that follow along the way. i draw, (every now and then these lazy summer days) i sing, i dance, i laugh at the most weirdest things, and can't really explain when or what causes it, but i don't mind, as long as i'm enjoying myself with them. i have the biggest admiration for chick flicks. i don't know why, they just create that hope of hopeless romantic in the corner of my heart. i'm a pretty much get along with everyone, whether they're of my interest or not. I have close friends too, so don't feel bad you guys. i'm the kind of kid who will stare into the sky for hours thinking of too many things in my head, come across a brilliant idea, (of whatever) but always forget to write it down, thinking: "man, that was probably a really good one." im the type of person, that if anything bad or unfortunate happens to you, i will feel horrible and do something to help you out. (attempting, but sometimes failing) im the type of person who will look up at the stars, and think of a world where no man has ever lived, and wonder how it would be not to have your music, your soul, and your self-awareness, thinking nothing but blank pages inside your head. i'm always confused, and can't really figure out what i'm confused about. just confused, hoping that some day, some day i will figure it out and laugh at myself for such silly worries. sometimes i prefer to walk backwards to a destination, or write with a left hand. none of these will probably make sense to any of you, and that is exactly why i wrote what i just wrote.

BOOP!

it doesn't....

~It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

~It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

~It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

~I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

~It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

~I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

~I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, Yes! I am here to stay, here to live.

~It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the world with your desparate soul.

~It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back to the sea.

~It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

rock.

what we don't realize...

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

Everyone is making bombs.
"You can't tell us not to make them when you have millions"

WHY?

summer.

it's literally half done.
in about a month and half we'll all be going to our accepted and chosen colleges, with good-byes, and tears, and an overwhelming emotions which will include; fear, excitement, content, sadness, bitterness, and probably so much more. But I don't want to think about this right now, I'm gonna go out and have fun, worrying and all that is for later. Hopefully not too soon....

whatever, man.

I'm writing another journal after journal because I want to, and you can't tell me something's wrong because it's allllll mine. Hung out with a dearly missed homeslice lyndall today, got her ready to play some ultimate frisbee, got food, then the round two. Can't say much about her, other than to say that shes the bomb. Hopefully she'll dominate at the game tomorrow. (If she goes).

Oooope, just randomly read about a woman who had to clean pee and poop off the so called, "dry bucket" for 23 years in India because of such big gaps in their social hierchy. Apparently, now she is a queen or some sort, rockin' the gold clown with blings on her head. Man, what a life! I wonder if we had a hierchy, then some things would probably make sense to a lot of us, such as politics and somewhat of millions of problems that the country faces these hectic, hectic days....

bahhh.

Summer is getting kinda boring these days with everyone gone. My only asian party buddy Patrick Sharr is gone to San Diego for a Marine Corp training, (BOOT CAMP!) aha Kat is off at Wyoming to see her homie, Seth is going to be on his ass day and night after his painful back surgery tomorrow. Well, I guess I still have some friends left to hangout: Ryan, Lyndie, Elaine, Becky, Nick, Tyler, and probably a little more. I sometimes wish I could just go to college already, see what it's like, come back, then have some time to kick it with my homies. But that would never happen. Time machines would come in handy right now...