my new found love.

i've recently discovered a new interest/hobby: ROAD BICYCLES (FIXED-GEAR ROAD BICYCLES TO BE EXACT.)

fixed-gear road bicycles, also known as "fixies", 

are single-gear bicycles which the paddles turn as the wheels do. 

they are quite hard to ride, but so much fun to customize. 

i am currently in the process of painting the back rim of my fixie a neon yellow. 

i have already switched the drop-bars straps from a black to a mixture of red and black camouflage like patterns. 

the frame itself is baby blue, (which i believe represents OLD SKOOL) and on the front forks of the bike, it reads: "ride tuned N' gauged".

every time i ride, it gives me a sense of freedom, an awareness for the environment, and a very good exercise. 

surprisingly enough, it has changed my thoughts on some things in life, such as:

- cars are probably the worst inventions ever to have been created in this world. (except for cars that are DESIGNED, not manufactured.)

- i would actually like to go up to a tree one day and hug it good for about 5 minutes, then say "thank you."

- NOLS sounds like an awesome thing to do for the summer.

- professional fixie-r? 

- no chris. 

- need to get fit, need to quit smoking cigarettes. 

- join the Los Angeles Midnight Ridazz

i think it's a good start.

p.s; what should i name her? 

open to suggestion.

girls.

they are very weird creatures. 

as soon as you think you can tell what's going on inside their head, they knock you back into reality. 

i've been on and off with my female companion for quite some time now, and i still can't quite decide what to do about her and i. one day i can pass a day without even thinking about her, another day she is constantly on my mind. 

being back home and seeing her for the first time in 4 months, sparked something up in our relationship... yet neither of us know where we will end up in the end. i hate feeling this feeling. i hate not knowing what will happen to her and i. 

this is a very weird feeling for me. something i have never felt before. 

i feel insecure, scared, lost, and i hate it.

maybe one day i'll wake up and this will all just be a dream. 

thankful.

i know for a fact that i'm gettin' absolut shit for christmas. 

so far, i've gotten: 

-a brand new macbook

-a fixie road bike 

-a shit load of liquid (including 2 bottles of wine i drink before bed)

-a shit load of munchies/food

- lots of love

it is 4 in the morning and my parents had just left for the LAX to fly back to colorado.

i've never felt so grateful in my life than tonight. 

not seeing my parents for 3 months was enough for me to tell them 'thank you' for all of the hard work they've gone through to raise me, and to send me off in different countries, different schools, and now a different life to pursue MY own dreams.

the sun is coming up, and my eyelids are coming down. 

i know that from today and everyday will be different.

i will BE.